3/5 Stars 🌟🌟🌟
Today I learned that Lean Cuisine’s tagline is “Feed Your Phenomenal,” which is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.
First off, the tagline makes no sense. It sounds like a self-help-themed MadLibs. (“Feed your incredible….and let that inside light…be the light of the dreamer’s heart that shines the world…..” is how I’d imagine the rest of the sentence would go.) (Okay wait somebody give me a book deal, I for sure have 32k words of that in me.)
Second off, if my phenomenal can only be fed through microwavable frozen meals then I think maybe it’s better off hungry.
Taste: ⅗
To call this thing “spicy” is like calling Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs “a bone-chilling thriller.” (Although, to be fair, I’ve never seen it, maybe it is scary. Does the meatball have a knife or something?)
Ease of Cooking: ⅕
Look, Joe Biden, I know you’re reading this. Please, I beg, add to your platform that you’ll absolutely BAN any Lean Cuisine that makes you stir midway through cooking. The people will love it!
Appearance: ⅗
You’re not gonna frame a photo of this on your desk or anything, but I feel like the brown rice automatically makes it looks healthy, which is a bonus!
Overall: ⅗
This was fine, but also painfully sweet. Maybe there was some sort of Maple Syrup Truck accident inside the Lean Cuisine factory, so now everything’s coated in syrup?
I’d probably eat this again.