3/5 Stars 🌟🌟🌟
If your definition of self care involves eating tiny handfuls of steamed lentils, then buckle up baby, because it’s Healthy Choice Simply Steamers time!!
This is the kind of meal that I imagine Gisele Bundchen makes when she really feels like treating herself – a few delicate lentils and, why the hell not, let’s go crazy, a couple of whispers of red pepper! “Only God can judge me,” Gisele whispers, about this decadent treat.
This meal takes, hmmm, literal milliseconds to eat. I cannot stress to you how small it is. It’s like those tiny little dishes that came with the Barbie Dream House. Thank GOD we had a birthday in the office the day I ate this so I could stuff my face with literal handfuls of frosting as a dessert so I didn’t starve to death.
Taste: 3/5
It tastes how I’d imagine being an instagram fitness blogger would feel. One bite in, I started dreaming up different inspirational quotes I’d use as the captions for my gym selfies. But the dream, much like my IRL fitness routines, didn’t last because three bites later it was gone.
Ease of Cooking: ⅘
While I don’t love that it took 4 minutes to microwave – my ideal cooking instructions would say, “just tear it open with your goddamn teeth, you absolute savage beast” – I do love that I didn’t have to take it out and stir with a tiny little teaspoon.
Appearance: ⅗
It looked like a small pile of lentils, which is exactly what it is. Bravo, I guess.
Overall: ⅗
Actually not bad. But it’s really more of a Costco-sized free sample than a real meal. And unfortunately, in this case, you can’t distract the employee and shove 40 into your purse when they’re not looking.