- Chrissy Teigen = Stouffer’s Classic Lasagna with Meat and Sauce: Stouffer’s Classic Lasagna is the Supermodel of frozen meals – I mean, those iconic 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue pics! (I dropped out of my Intro to Graphic Design class but if I hadn’t – imagine the Photoshopped image I’d make of this! Stunning!) But that’s not the only reason why this one is the obvious choice for Chrissy Teigen, model/Twitter user/Postmates aficionado.
Both Chrissy and the Lasagna appreciate a classic with a twist – Chrissy with her wildly popular recipes, the Lasagna with its promise of both meat and sauce. (The bar is so low with frozen meals. The labels are always like – Meat! Sauce! Probably no accidental hunks of plastic!) Also Chrissy and the Lasagna would both be the perfect road trip companion – Chrissy sitting shotgun and the lasagna scalding the roof of your mouth every time you take a bite at a red light. A perfect match.
- Alison Roman = Lean Cuisine Balsamic Glazed Chicken Bowl: Alison is the creator of viral recipes like THE STEW and THE COOKIES. So for her, may I suggest – THE LEAN CUISINE BOWLS BALSAMIC GLAZED CHICKEN. It’s a dish you can make for a casual night in or for a massive dinner party, which is right up Alison’s alley. Plus, with a five minute cook time and the fact that it’s already beautifully pre-plated, you’ll have more time to focus on what really matters at your dinner party – gossiping about everyone who isn’t there. (Just kidding, I’ve never done that in my life. I only ever talk about fine art.)
- Chris Morocco = Lean Cuisine Craveables: Chicken Club Panini: Ah yes, the “Bad Boys” of the culinary scene – Bobby Flay. Gordon Ramsay. That guy on the show “Bar Rescue” who yells a lot and has a line of protein bars at Costco. Chris Morocco.
Just kidding. Chris Morocco is a very nice, polite man with Big Dad Energy who seems like he’d happily give us a ride home from the mall and some solid advice on avoiding peer pressure. And he needs a frozen meal who matches that vibe. The Chicken Club Panini is trustworthy, smart and can be eaten with one hand, so Chris can tell us how proud he is of all of us on the go.
- Sohla El-Waylly = Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers Frozen Chicken Pesto Classico:
Don’t tell the other chefs, but Sohla is my favorite. And, just like the star herself, the Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers Frozen Chicken Pesto Classico is cool, joyful and looks amazing with bangs.
Plus Sohla and the Healthy Choice understand the importance of a good cocktail when cooking. Personally, I think Frozen Chicken Pesto would pair best with a mug full of room temp $5 wine and a little bit of coffee that you forgot was in there earlier, but I may be wrong on that.
- Antoni Porowski = Banzai Shrimp and Avocado Roll Frozen Sushi: Look, obviously Antoni “Big Avocado Fan” Porkowski (Antoni, feel free to use that nickname) needs a frozen meal with avocado in it, and we don’t have a lot of options there. But that’s not the only reason our perfect cheek boned prince is the Shrimp and Avocado Roll.
Antoni needs a frozen meal that’s ready for anything at the drop of a hat – sexy date, big promotion, giant party where you show your friends your fancy new haircut. He needs a dish that can be quickly whipped up while wearing a Deep V-Neck T-Shirt and looking lovingly into a total stranger’s eyes like you’ve known them your whole life.
Something that he can casually throw together while Bobby single-handedly rebuilds the entire house using nothing but his own 2 bare hands and a West Elm catalog.
- Guy Fieri = Devour Smokehouse Meat & Potatoes with Chicken, Sausage & Bacon: Okay so my first choice for Guy Fieri’s frozen meal counterpart – a bottle of Donkey Sauce slathered onto a jelly donut – apparently “hasn’t been created yet” (Lean Cuisine, let’s collab.) So we’re going with the next best thing – the Devour Smokehouse Meat and Potatoes with Chicken, Sausage and Bacon. Just say the name of that one out loud 3x and Guy appears with a red convertible and wraparound sunglasses, like a Flavortown version of that game “Bloody Mary.”
- Carla Lalli Music = Lean Cuisine Steak Portabella: Carla’s cookbook is one of the most beautiful books I have ever seen. And yes the girl who runs a Frozen Meal review blog uses cookbooks. (Well, by “uses” I mean that I wistfully look at the pictures while I hit buttons on the microwave and try not to break a tooth on undercooked Lean Cuisines, but still counts.) Carla is the Lean Cuisine Steak Portabella – an updated twist of a beloved classic dish.
Also, Carla, I’m telling you – Back to Back Chef would be so much easier if you just made it all frozen meals. “Okay so first read the instructions and then….stick it in the microwave….and we’re done! Perfect!”
Tabitha Brown= Amy’s Rice Mac and Cheeze: Tabitha Brown has the most perfect voice to ever exist. Her vegan cooking TikTok videos are soothing and sweet and delightful. Sometimes I even watch them before bed, like a 2021 bedtime story. Also a relaxing pre-bedtime treat? A box or two of Amy’s Rice Mac and Cheeze. The perfect pairing.