Chicago O’Hare Airport Terminal 3 Chili’s Too
“It’s my birthday” (- me, every day of May, most of June and randomly a few days in October but also, most of all, today), so I thought I’d celebrate with a review of Chicago’s most exclusive restaurant – the Terminal 3 Chili’s Too at the O’Hare Airport. Let’s go!
AIRPORT MARGARITA
Airport Margaritas dare to answer that age-old question – “Why arrive at your final destination well-rested and put together when you could stumble off the plane already hungover, fighting with your companions and covered in pre-mixed lime juice?”
What this Margarita lacks in fresh ingredients, it makes up for in price. $14.99 for a cup, but it’s airport rules, babbbby. When water is $7 for a bottle and a Diet Coke costs you your first-born child, this margarita is an amazing deal, the TSA equivalent of finding a [FANCY THING] at an estate sale. Why not get 2 more to go, so you can spill them on passerbys as you just barely make it to your gate!
BONELESS WINGS
“A friend” once told me (“A friend” is what I call the people I watch all day on TikTok) that Boneless Wings are just sauce-covered chicken nuggets. While that’s not wrong, it does feel deeply offensive for some reason????
Anyway. This is an order of sauce-covered chicken nuggets, which are of course wonderful. Since you’re already spending most of your vacation budget on this Chili’s Too meal, you might as well treat yourself for the added celery – at $0.50 for 3 little pieces, you can be grateful that you did something kind for your body, as you lick ranch off the stalks and whisper to yourself “this counts as a week’s worth of salads.”
CHIPS AND SALSA
The thing about Chips and Salsa is that even when the salsa is so watery that it tastes like they threw a few tomatoes into a Holiday Inn communal hot tub and spooned it into a little bowl for you, you’ll still eat the whole dang plate, you know?
Then, if you’re like me, you’ll probably say “So…are you thinking we should get another or….?” while acting like you don’t care either way, but knowing you’ll secretly carry a grudge against your friend for months if they say that you shouldn’t.
Anyway, should we get another order of this?