5/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Egyptians had their pyramids. The Greeks had muscley, arm-less statues. The Romans had…I think also muscley, arm-less statues? (People used to *really* love sexy, shirtless statues I guess.) And I hope one day in the future, there are museums dedicated to the United States’ greatest cultural addition – snacks of the 1990s.
For 10 perfect years, snacks were basically a lawless wasteland – kids’ lunchboxes were stuffed with gobs of frosting and fake cheese and plastic tubes of yogurt, and we all assumed they were good for us because a TV commercial featuring a skateboarding dinosaur in sunglasses told us it was.
And the best snack of all? Dunkaroos. Let’s dive in.
Taste: 5/5
Somewhere out there, there’s a nerd in his parents’ garage who’s been working on a time machine for the past 20 years, just so he could go back and eat Dunkaroos one last time. But joke’s on him, because as of last summer, Dunkaroos are BACK, babbbby! And they taste as amazing as ever.
It is honestly offensive that not every food comes with a little side cup of funfetti frosting. There’s not a single thing that wouldn’t be made better with an extra dollop of frosting – spinach, pizza, a fistful of icing.
Appearance: 5/5
Picture this. A teen comedy. The nerdy girl arrives at prom. She takes off her glasses and – shock alert – it turns out she’s been super hot the whole time. But Freddy Prinze Jr. doesn’t see her, he’s too busy looking at the most breathtakingly beautiful thing in the whole room – the Dunkaroos.
Overall: 5/5
Eating these Dunkaroos immediately brought me back to my 3rd grade self. Quick, someone try to teach me multiplication! (And, also like my 3rd grade self, I will not be paying attention.)