5/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
15 years or so ago (???), Al Gore invented the Internet for one sole purpose – to create a perfect place where no one would ever disagree with each other. And it worked – the Internet has famously always been a place where people are kind to each other, quick to a compliment, gentle in their discussions. But that all changed last week, when Jeni’s Ice Cream unveiled their new flavor – Everything Bagel – and the people. went. wild. Some incorrectly thought these were two things that should never go together, much like a screaming Tamagotchi and my dad at 2 am. But others (me) knew they’d be a dream together, like a sick Tamagotchi and my 8 year old self’s maternal instinct.
Spoiler alert: I was right. This rules.
Taste: 5/5
Obviously I love salt. My ideal at-home work situation would be a gallon-sized cup of coffee on my left and an enormous salt lick on my right (They sell them at Costco.) So if you’re like me and can’t get enough of the sweet/salty combo – a sea salt caramel, a chocolate-covered almond, a candy-coated cup of Chicken-Flavored Instant Noodles – then you’re going to love this too.
Ease of Cooking: 5/5
I mean, it’s ice cream. You just remove the lid, grab a spoon and it’s bon appetit, babbbby. All meals should be as easy to cook as this. (And yes, I consider the act of taking off a lid to be cooking. And I graduated with honors from Le Cordon Bleu.) (Not the one you’re thinking of though, a different Le Cordon Bleu.)
Appearance: 5/5
You know what ice cream looks like? It looks like that. It is, to quote Juno Birch, “absolutely stunning.” Also, the container says this contains “Everything Bagel Gravel,” which I assumed meant rock-hard hunks of spices that would absolutely shatter my teeth beyond repair. Luckily though, they decided to go a different direction.
Overall: 5/5
In my years on this earth, I’ve learned two things. First, I should have gotten the solo in my 6th grade choir’s version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” And secondly, Everything Bagel seasoning makes all foods better. This is absolutely worth the $10 per pint.