1/5 Stars 🌟
This Lean Cuisine aims to answer that age-old question – what if, instead of eating food for lunch, we just ate straight-up garbage?
It’s this whimsical approach to lunch that I’ve always loved about Lean Cuisine. While other frozen food companies may say, “No, 3-4 pieces of chicken, a half a cup of wilted green beans and leftover pomegranate syrup from a sorority mixer is NOT a meal,” Lean Cuisine breaks the mold, and insists that, yes, it IS. Good for them!!!
I had a hunch that this one was going to be bad. I’ve been pushing this one towards the back of the freezer for days now. (Does that mean I have ESP? Maybe a really, really specific form of ESP where, instead of predicting the future or knowing the winning lottery numbers, I can just tell you when a frozen food isn’t going to be up to par?)
The true issue with this one is the gallons of sweet, pomegranate syrup covering the whole dish. You know that scene from “Carrie,” where there’s blood covering the walls at prom? That’s what this feels like. Just with pink, pomegranate syrup EVERYWHERE. Avoid! At! All! Costs!
Taste: ⅕
Nothing about this was good. Maybe the only way to salvage it would be to try the syrup over ice cream? But then again, who wants to take that kind of risk with poor innocent ice cream.
Ease of cooking: ⅕
Here’s my top cooking tip for this one: Open it up, put a slit in the plastic, hold it over the garbage and dump it out amongst the rest of the trash.
Appearance: 1/5
I don’t even know how to describe the color of this thing. Grayish Purpleish. Grayple? Puray? A beautiful name for a baby, a terrible color for something you’re putting into your body.
Overall: ⅕
It’s like a science experiment gone wrong. And that experiment was “will people spend money for garbage?” The answer is yes. They were right.