4/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Is there anything that Martha Stewart can’t do? Between her home goods line, her tv shows, and the fact that I heard she’s going to be boxing against Jake Paul on Pay-Per-View this weekend, you gotta admit – the woman is a powerhouse.
So of course when I found out she was launching a line of frozen meals, I immediately reached out to Martha’s team to see if I could be the first to try it.
…But they didn’t answer, so I had to wait until it hit Jewel-Osco, then go there and pay $8.99 for a box of Beef and Cheddar Hand Pies like a chump.
Let’s dive in.
Taste: 5/5
As a frozen food reviewer, I eat a lot of things that others might refer to as “trash” and “inedible” and “why does it look so wet?”
So imagine my surprise – nay, my shock – when I dug into this beef and cheddar hand pie only to realize…I think this sucker legally qualifies as food! It certainly hits the 3 main points on the food pyramid at least – it’s good, it’s warm, it’s filled with cheese. (I made my own food pyramid.)
Also, sure, I do realize that “beef and cheddar hand pie” is just a snazzy European way of saying “cheeseburger in a pastry shell” but build a bridge and get over it, honey!
Appearance: 5/5
This beef and cheddar hand pie is stunning.
If you told me that it turns out there’s a 4th Hemsworth Brother and guess what, it’s a beef and cheddar hand pie, I’d be…well, surprised at first. (Australia is more known for its meat pies.)
But then I’d totally get it, because this thing should be a Marvel superhero.
Overall: 4/5
Unfortunately, the beef and cheddar hand pie loses a point because Martha does break the two arbitrary rules I just made up for frozen meals – frozen meals should always be microwavable (this one’s 25 minutes in the oven) and they should always cost $2.
But all-in-all, if you ever find yourself in charge of a fancy event, like catering the Oscars, I’d definitely recommend you buy a few boxes of these and call it a success.