My German great-grandmother, Gisela Petra VonLeanCuisine had a lot of colorful words that she brought over from the old country. (Wait, I forgot to tell y’all that I’m heir to Lean Cuisine’s fortune, which is why I’m always covered in diamonds and constantly featured in Forbes’ 30 Under 30)
But by far her favorite was an old German phrase, FremdschadChipotlemerz – the feeling of overwhelming excitement when you know that you have leftover Chipotle waiting in the refrigerator. Today’s review is dedicated to her.
Taste: ⅘
Is there anything better than leftover Chipotle? I mean, yeah, of course there is – fresh Chipotle, the sound of a child’s laugh, that feeling on the First Day of Spring, Auntie Anne’s Mini Pretzel Dogs. But still – as far as Tuesday lunch goes, restaurant leftovers are hard to top. The only issue with this meal is that I suddenly came down with a case of “being shy for a second” and got too nervous to ask for cheese, but that’s more on me than on the good people of Chipotle.
Appearance: ⅖
If a fresh Chipotle bowl is the Mona Lisa – beautiful, artistic, full of wonder – then Chipotle that’s been sitting in the fridge for 24 hours is….whatever the opposite of the Mona Lisa is. (A pile of garbage that’s been sitting behind the Lourve for a day? Or maybe anything by Renoir?) It tastes great, but it sure doesn’t photograph well.
Overall: ⅘
We all somehow went to high school with a guy who made “Eating Chipotle” his whole personality, right? Well, I guess Chad had it right all along – this was great, and maybe we should be eating it for every single meal.
Pairs Well With: Half a cup of lukewarm coffee and forty-three TikTok videos about some guy’s cat, while your own real life cats look at you in judgement.