3/5 Stars 🌟🌟🌟
Someone please tell me why the box of every “healthy” frozen meal reads like it’s about to start a self-care blog about the power of positive thinking. This one says it’s made with “real ingredients you can pronounce.”
First off, SmartMade, for all you know, I can say “thiamine hydrochloride” just fine (it was, after all, my grandpa’s name).
Secondly, I bought this in the freezer section of Walgreens as I tried to figure out if three bags of clearance Easter jelly beans would be enough. It’s not like I was going to bother reading the ingredients anyway. For all I know, the 3rd ingredient would be “literal rat poison, you dumb shit,” and I’d just assume that’s what made it so creamy.
Taste: ⅗.
Another joy in this strange packaging is that it promises it’s “made like you make it.” That’s is cute, because if it was made like I make it, it would be a Bon Appetit recipe that I have almost all the ingredients for, got halfway through making, panicked that it was undercooked and I was going to get salmonella, then let the leftovers sit in the fridge until it’s time to throw it out because “the chicken kind of tastes weird now.”
Ease of Cooking: ⅖.
I’m proud of all of us 2020 graduates, wherever they are. And I’m including myself in this because, with two sets of instructions depending on what watt of microwave you have, I now have my PhD in biophysical science (with a minor in stagecraft).
Appearance: ⅖.
Oh no, it’s bad. You know how whenever people post a picture of their young grandparent, we all think about how hot they were, then it turns out the picture was posted for a sad reason and you feel bad? This is the opposite of that. It’s vile.
Overall: ⅗.
I picked this one up because it was on sale. If it was on sale again, I’d probably get it again. There’s not a lot of science to this.